O.K., so the partying was in the 70's and everyone was doing it, except obviously not me. Plus, this is six months into a relationship and all I knew about were two husbands, the separated guy between them, and one guy five years before me. I think it always freaks a man out to find out the woman he cares about is more experienced than he is. She said, "Yes, and holy moly it was fun.” Needless to say, I was speechless. We had been drinking and having sex and then talking and she brought up the topic of group sex and asked me if I'd ever been with two women. I think that the turning point came the night before New Year's Eve day. There is not a single item in her house that is out of place and she has trained her two dogs to wipe their feet when they come inside. She is also the most obsessive-compulsive person I ever met. She slept a lot and put down four beers to my one, and then complained that she felt like a "lush" with me. As a Christian I was sure that this was the most amazing blessing.īut there were other signs that I discounted. We prayed together for her sister who had cancer. She introduced me to her friends at a Christmas party as the love of her life and as her boyfriend to everyone at her church. Yet for six months she professed her love and adoration for me.
I should have heard the warning bell when she told me she liked to give oral sex because it was a power trip. Now we are both Christians, and not young. Things didn't move super fast, but there was a lot of affection, lots of e-mails when we were working, etc., then the most amazing sex. This woman sent me a flirt on a dating site. I suspect this relates to an absence of maternal bonding that I have tried to achieve.īut this time I got burned by a real pro. For me though, I never wanted to end all contact with my partner. Just a few weeks ago when I first read about what a serial monogamist is, I was sure that it was my condition, and it probably is. Then you'll be fine and fit what society wants. So, guys, just wait until your testicle mass falls below that threshold or until you get fat enough. For humans, we are just at that critical value, so it goes either way. If it's above a certain value, males will not commit. Turns out it all depends on the ratio of testicle mass to body mass that determines whether a male is monogamous or polygamous. If you end up having children, make sure to stick around at least so long until they are somewhat independent and keep good relations with the mother/father. So my advice is, just enjoy your serial relationships and don't stress too much. I felt that if I would be in a situation where I had to die to save him I'd do it.įorget about the whole romantic garbage between people of opposite sex. I experienced the real meaning of love when our first son was born. Now the testosterone is going downhillĪnd after having played the field, I don't have the urge to try somebody new that much anymore. I think it helped that I waited with commitment until age 40. The idea of having to settle for just one person to have sex with for the rest of my life was very scary to me. We both are not very romantic and I had a hard time committing, but now I am glad I did. When I look back I was also jumping from woman to woman until I was getting close to 40 years old and found a very nice girl. There seems to be quite a lot of people on this site who are not even 30 years old and seem to be so worried about being a serial monogamist. Can they really say that for those 20 years most of the relationship was just so wonderful? I find it sadder that a couple will stay together for say 20 years and then break up. This is just one of many reasons of serial monogamy. A dopamine rush! Serial monogamists are more of a drug addict wanting the dopamine rush without having to consume chemicals.
Falling in love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain.
Serial monogamy is not necessarily about sex. Complacency sets into every relationship and over time for many long term relationships become boring.Ī serial monogamist learns that, with every break up they become stronger and does not fear either being alone or getting their heart broken. Marriage is great if the intent is to have a family and raise children. It is a fact that all relationships end by breaking up or death.
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